Spring has sprung here in Evansville and that means the excitement and thrill of youth ministry pours like the rain that has been falling outside - constantly. From conferences and camps to fundraisers and concerts, spring marks the beginning of the busiest months of the youth ministry calendar for Forest Hills Wesleyan Youth… And I am already experiencing the fatigue of abundant ministry and time lost with my family. In fact, in the past three weeks, Wayne (my handsome husband) and I have only crossed tracks to trade off the children as we bounce from ministry to ministry. This rapid pace has caused me to remember my priorities and the boundaries I have set for my marriage, children, home, and ministry. Some of those are:
1. I do my best to limit “big events” to one weekend of the month. Obviously, this is difficult to do when I do not set all of the dates in my calendar. Some events are scheduled. Other events are “locked in.” But when it comes to events that have the potential to consume my weekend and I have control of scheduling, I do my best to spread them out so they don’t all happen at once.
2. I do my best to protect my day off. One day of the week, I take off and spend some much needed time with my kiddos. We snuggle, watch movies, go to the zoo, play at the park, and make mud pies. You get the idea. Oddly enough, I don’t necessarily have to protect this time from “ministry” stuff, but I do have to protect this time for household chores. This means being intentional about keeping the house cleaned on a regular basis so it does not get out of control and require hours of my energy and attention to get it back to par. My kids deserve some mommy time too!
3. I do my best to spend time with my husband on a daily basis. Because Wayne works a traditional 9-5 job and is the part time volunteer assistant pastor, this can be very difficult. Our schedules often conflict and we rarely get to work on “projects” together. When you add both of our ministries to the fact that we have three children that also deserve time together as a family, it does not leave much time for “date nights.” SO we try to set aside chunks of consistent time when we connect.
These are a few of the boundaries I have tried to place in my life. However, I often fail miserably at upholding them. Especially in the months of April, May, June, and July. So this post is to serve two purposes:
To remind myself of what my priorities are and
To ask you… WHAT BOUNDARIES DO YOU HOLD TO in order to appropriate your time wisely and keep your personal relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse, and your relationships with your children healthy and happy.
Kelli,
ReplyDeleteI am so excited that you are blogging! It will be such a good way to keep up with you. We both know how hard it is to touch base as much as we want to (for exactly the reasons you blogged about!)
I am so happy to hear that you set aside a date night. Bryan and I have learned many things about the date night...first and foremost that it is essential. And it must be intentional, planned well in advance, sitters included. Spontenaity is great, but not when you have multiple little people with big eyes and big hugs to give you every reason not to go out. We also know that Satan will do all he can to take that time from us, to weaken our bond. A friend will call with an emergency, someone will get sick, someone will get mad and not want to go out anymore, another couple will even want to double up. We have to prioritize ourselves and our marriage over all of that. Thursday night we are going on an out of town date, overnight. I am excited about how fun it will be, but sad because I will so miss the babies.
I love you and can't wait to read more posts from you!
Kelli,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Boundaries are difficult. As you know, this is always MORE to do and I am learning slowly that it can wait and it will be there tomorrow. A pastor will NEVER say, I spent too much time with my family. I am sure that many pastors will say and have already said, I spent too much time in the office and not enough time at home. I have told my wife before that I was willing to quit my job if it meant saving my family. Yes that is a tough thing to say, and even tougher to do. Of course The Holy Spirit would have to guide me down that road :)
My two days off a week are the two days that Randi works. Our paths cross at home of an evening. Most days we have lunch with our girls at home, some days I have a lunch meeting or am out of town. I will often go back into work when she gets off from work at 7:30 pm. It is tough sometimes but that is what we have to do right now to pay the bills. Don't get me wrong our church takes VERY GOOD care of us but we need her 2nd income. I would LOVE if she could just be a stay at home mom. (that is how I was raised) She loves to work and loves to be home as I am sure all parents are torn with that decision.
Keep posting!
Joe